We’re all individuals with different personality types; this is not a bad thing, but it can be tough when we get together. We so want the other person to think like us but that’s just never going to happen. If you’re a dog and you’re going out with a cat and you really want them to bark, then you’re just barking up the wrong tree!
Instead, we must learn to acknowledge and accept each other’s differences, in order to successfully navigate our way through a relationship. We must celebrate our differences; they are, ironically, what make it work.
When you have a sensitive soul with an unemotional person, that’s a very tricky relationship dynamic. Or, someone who is very set in their ways, with someone who is spontaneous – it’s near impossible to get the other to be flexible or compromise. We want to be honest with the other person, but at the same time, we don’t want to hurt their feelings. We must honour and respect who the other person is, who they are and what they are, but in order to do that fully, we must first understand who we are.
It’s the best way – you have to understand yourself first before you can understand others. Some people go straight into the other person and forget themselves, leaving the strongest personality to dominate, but we must know who we are first.
Once you know who you are, you can purposely avoid those that don’t work well with you. Rather than trying to change that person to be more like you. You just be you; and if they don’t work with you, then it’s not meant to be. This applies to romantic relationships, friendship and work relationships.
Weaknesses & Strengths
By knowing your own weaknesses and strengths, you can help others work with you. When you know their weaknesses and strengths, then you know how to work with them. Without knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, you run the risk of isolating yourself in all of your relationships. When you know them, you can empower yourself to make informed choices with how you behave and how you want others to treat you.
Here are the four main personality types that I work with, and their strengths and weaknesses. By knowing your personality type, you can empower yourself with the information you need to thrive, in all aspects of your life.
The Sanguine – The Extrovert/Talker/Optimist
The Sanguines are out there, they’re bright and alive, they love shiny objects, and they are the loudest in the group.
Strengths: Storytelling, commanding voice, freethinker, friendly, optimistic, spontaneous and magnetic.
Weaknesses: Exaggeration, lies, undisciplined, late, overspends, never plans ahead and gives to everyone.
Melancholy – The Introvert/Thinker/Pessimist
The Melancholies are very sincere, they over dramatise things, they’re over thinkers, tend to be obsessive, over sensitive, and prone to eating disorders.
Strengths: Empathetic, succinct, analytical, organised, compassionate, good listener, reliable, trustworthy.
Weaknesses: Hesitant, fearful, uptight, fragile, hermit, moody, hypochondriac, emotionally vulnerable, self-righteous, critical, obsessive.
Peaceful Phlegmatic – The Introvert/Watcher/Pessimist
The Phlegmatics are the most balanced of the four. They’re the peacemakers, they’re the ones you want to be friends with, as they balance everyone out. They tend to be shy or reticent and avoid confrontation.
Strengths: Loyal, faithful, witty, dependable, steady, consistent, willing, patient, calm.
Weaknesses: Dull, boring, indecisive, spineless, lazy, wishy-washy, sarcastic, obstinate, passive-aggressive, no initiative.
Choleric – The Extrovert/Doer/Optimist
Cholerics are strong-willed. They’re always right. They’re stubborn. They’re good leaders. Every business has to have one. If you own a business, you need one.
Strengths: Productive, visionary, multi-tasker, open-minded, leaders, purposeful, focused, motivate others, constructive,
Weaknesses: In your face, know it all, angry, bossy, belligerent, untouchable, argumentative, offensive, controlling, narrow-minded, manipulative.
(Sanguines tend to marry Melancholies and Phlegmatics tend to marry Cholerics, as they compliment each other in areas, each is lacking in.)
Just by reading these archetypes, you will automatically resonate more with one than the others, but in order to fully understand your personality type, you need to complete the profiling test. Then, you’ll discover you might have a mix of a few types. With this comprehensive information, you can more easily navigate your way through your relationships and your life.
The trick is, being able to be all four of them on any given day. You might find that certain friends or relationships bring out different aspects of you. With one group you could be more Sanguine and in others, you’re Choleric. In one relationship you may have been more Melancholy but in another, you’re more Phlegmatic. It’s about identifying what situations and people bring out what sides in you, and how you can work with that aspect of yourself, in order to succeed.
This is especially evident in business. In every business, you need to have every one of the personality types; otherwise, you’re missing a piece. If you have all of the same personalities, there will be too much talking and not enough listening, or doing. You need people to dots the I’s & cross the T’s.
Having your personality profiling done is a very enlightening experience and it will give you much needed insights into yourself and those closest to you, enabling you to manage your relationships better.
If you would like to know more about your personality type and how you can use it to your advantage in life, book in for a personality typing session.